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The Truth about Goats

Captain Tom offered knighthood in exchange for fully funding the NHS

Charity walker, Captain Tom Moore, will now be expected to do laps of his garden 24/7 to fill the funding gap in NHS provision. In addition to using his walking … Continue reading

May 28, 2020 · Leave a comment

Isle of Wight tracing app is just a man ringing bell shouting ‘unclean’

An NHS app aimed at limiting the spread of Coronavirus, is being trialled on the Isle of Wight; alongside transistor radios, the typewriter and toilets that flush. Despite this, the … Continue reading

May 14, 2020 · Leave a comment

‘Contingency plans’ for Boris’ death, still the best plan on offer

Despite staff at St. Thomas’ Hospital pronouncing Mr. Johnson ‘brain dead’ on arrival, he has now resumed his day to day duties. Death rates to the coronavirus have actually gone … Continue reading

May 13, 2020 · Leave a comment

NHS need Burberry gowns but can’t afford £1000 matching bag

The desperately short supply of personal protective equipment (PPE) has forced the NHS to outsource to Burberry and Barbour – while deliberately ignoring ASDA’s less fashionable ‘George’ line. An average … Continue reading

April 30, 2020 · Leave a comment

Care Home virus deaths recorded as alien abductions

It transpires that the UK government has been suppressing Coronavirus mortality rates by ignoring non-hospital deaths and passing them off as the work of extraterrestrial kidnappers or the cast of … Continue reading

April 22, 2020 · Leave a comment

Doctor grateful to have journalist explain her job to her

Health professionals have welcomed the rude interruptions of numerous interviewers, in helping to spread editorial views on Coronavirus and ultimately the spread of Coronavirus. Said one Doctor: ‘I feel I … Continue reading

April 20, 2020 · Leave a comment

Retired Doctors to be frontline vs Coronavirus, because ‘they’ll die first’

  The Health Department has hit upon the novel idea of putting those with weakest immune systems at greatest exposure to Covid-19; thus cutting in half doctor’s pensions. The scheme … Continue reading

March 5, 2020 · Leave a comment

NHS ‘coronavirus pod’ is the new name for ‘corridor’

With no additional capacity, hospitals have been forced to improvise with their use of space; converting carparks into wards, skips into surgeries and toilets into ‘executive office space, with unlimited … Continue reading

February 18, 2020 · Leave a comment

Facemasks? Either its Coronavirus or we suddenly have a lot of dentists

The UK is braced for an outbreak of a scary virus or the possibility that everyone wants to look like a dental hygienist.  To add to the confusion, there is … Continue reading

February 5, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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