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The last of the ‘Clegg-maniacs’ retires


Pauline McClusky (24) of Sheffield, Hallam, has finally put up for sale her extensive collection of Nick Clegg memorabilia and her much smaller collection of Clegg ‘promises kept’.  The once … Continue reading

February 24, 2016 · Leave a comment

Tory Majority leaves Newcastle Utd without a new manager


Much to the frustration of voters and Alan Shearer, the General Election has failed to resolve the problems of the ailing Premiership club. No one Political Party wants to take … Continue reading

May 11, 2015 · Leave a comment

Early exits suggest that the majority of votes will be ironic


Rather than marking their ballot with an ‘X’, most voters will be opting this year for some sort of scribbled profanity or a more traditional ‘cock and balls’. Polls are … Continue reading

May 8, 2015 · 2 Comments

Voters have 48 hours left to touch me, cautions Clegg


In a stark warning to the British electorate, the Deputy Prime Minister has made it clear that we have only two days left to ‘run our fingers through his hair’. … Continue reading

May 6, 2015 · Leave a comment

Hard Working Families to be given extra votes


Now that the entire General Election revolves around glowing generalities, a cross-party committee of MPs has agreed that greater representation should be given to positive, abstract concepts. So with the … Continue reading

April 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

Nick Clegg launches sinister dating site: ‘Salmond, Farage or Me’


In attempt to help voters lose their lunch, the Lib Dems have promoted their answer to C4’s ‘The Undateables’. Offering a stark choice of sexual extremes, Nick Clegg has positioned … Continue reading

April 21, 2015 · Leave a comment

Cameron promises not to serve a third term. Voters helpfully rule out a second.


In an attempt to manage public expectation, the Prime Minister has said he will not be swayed into staying in office, regardless of any mass displays of affection. Meanwhile, nonplussed … Continue reading

April 2, 2015 · Leave a comment

Police search continues for the most ‘meaningless’ election issue


Officers have issued another request for any information pertaining to the whereabouts of the UK’s 2015 General Election. Meanwhile police have been dredging canals for anything that could be construed … Continue reading

March 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

Nick Clegg in ‘freak’ moment of conscience


Much to the surprise of those who spend their time checking hens for teeth and pigs for wings, the Deputy Prime Minister stunned political analysts by suggesting drug addiction is … Continue reading

March 11, 2015 · Leave a comment

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