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92yr old man says celibacy is easy

The retired Pope, Benedict XVI, has said priests should remain celibate, despite himself being in his sexual prime.  He boasted, at 92 he could have any woman he wanted – … Continue reading

January 30, 2020 · Leave a comment

Pope: Keeping a nun as a sex slave is no longer cool

It may have taken 2000 years to reach the conclusion, but the Catholic Church is now ‘definitely…almost certainly’ against abuse or at the very least is unhappy when it gets … Continue reading

April 24, 2019 · Leave a comment

Popes to be elected using Vape

In a week where E-Cig manufacturers pressure MP’s to extend vaping laws , the Vatican has confirmed that they will be employing a Benedictine Monk with a ‘sixty a day … Continue reading

October 10, 2018 · Leave a comment

Pope confirms Satan is a Celiac

In outlawing gluten-free bread for Holy Communion, the Bishop of Rome has decreed that an intolerance to wheat is a clear sign of witchery and being unnecessarily fussy about doughnuts. … Continue reading

August 3, 2017 · Leave a comment

Pope not Santa

The Vatican has been forced into an embarrassing confession that Pope Francis has been fraudulently passing himself off as an arbitrator of good and bad behaviour, while gorging on turkey-stuffing … Continue reading

December 28, 2016 · Leave a comment

Outrage as Mother Theresa sainted before Diana

Daily Express readers have been frothing at the mouth and tearing at their hospital restraints in frustration, that ‘some flighty piece of skirt’ from India will be canonized ahead of … Continue reading

September 19, 2016 · Leave a comment

‘There’s only room for 12 on my private jet,’ says Pope regretfully

In an act of pure humanitarianism (whilst still maintaining a healthy luggage/migrant ratio) the Pope has kindly offered hope and boarding passes to a select few. With no thought to … Continue reading

June 8, 2016 · Leave a comment

Revealed: John Paul’s letters to ‘Jim’ll fix it’

The late Pope’s close relationship to Jimmy Savile has been unveiled through a series of intimate correspondence between the pontiff and the BBC’s branch of ‘light entertainment and kiddy fiddling’. … Continue reading

March 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

David Cameron to replace entire Cabinet with female Bishops

In an attempt to distance his government from a ‘stuffy’ male image, the Prime Minister is taking the bold move to capitalize on the sudden popularity of ‘lady clerics’. At … Continue reading

July 16, 2014 · 2 Comments

Reformation (play script)

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