Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Sperm Bank ‘crash’ more of a squelch

On what financial analysts are calling ‘White Tuesday’, the UK national sperm bank was forced to admit to a massive loss of savings and that the content of their vault … Continue reading

September 29, 2015 · Leave a comment

Jedis still outnumber Nuns

Despite reaching a 25 year recruitment high, sadly 45 Nuns are somewhat dwarfed by the several hundred thousand UK citizens declaring their commitment to the Force in the 2011 census. … Continue reading

May 19, 2015 · Leave a comment

Surprise that only 1 in 10 sausages have Hepatitis E

Disappointingly only a small percentage of processed pork meat products in England and Wales cause an acute infection. With a mere 10% potentially infected with a virus that uses the … Continue reading

November 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

World mourns Robin Williams in 140 characters or less

While the well-loved actor and comedian sadly took his own life at 63, the world’s grief seems to have been condensed into a series of trite sound-bites. Despite his participation … Continue reading

August 15, 2014 · Leave a comment

Police launch new ‘999Haters’ service to combat trolls

Now that over 50% of UK policing is focused on social media complaints, senior officers are set to invest in a first response system to combat internet ‘meanness’, aggressive emoticons … Continue reading

July 25, 2014 · Leave a comment

Three-way conception an elaborate pocket-money scam

Undercover reporters have discovered that the government’s backing for three-person IVF is no more than ‘an elaborate front’ for a fraudulent attempt on the part of children to gain access … Continue reading

June 23, 2014 · Leave a comment

Nation treated for shock over Katie Price split

The artist formerly known as Jordan, or the Hashemite Kingdom of Transjordan, traumatised the UK by announcing her plans to get divorced. As has been well-documented, Ms. Price’s commitment to … Continue reading

May 14, 2014 · 1 Comment

New law to block online Porn disappointingly becomes the most downloaded law

What was intended as a bold move to stop the torrent of graphic images that reach our children may have inadvertently ‘fanned the flames’ of our desire for illicit material. … Continue reading

March 31, 2014 · Leave a comment

Russell Brand’s plums soon to go on sale

Britain’s shoppers will soon be able to buy alongside anthocyanin-infused tomatoes,  the genetically-modified scrotum of our favourite lascivious tramp. Mr. Brand’s ‘swollen nuts’, with their distinctive purple bruising, will be … Continue reading

February 7, 2014 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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