Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Pope not Santa


The Vatican has been forced into an embarrassing confession that Pope Francis has been fraudulently passing himself off as an arbitrator of good and bad behaviour, while gorging on turkey-stuffing … Continue reading

December 28, 2016 · Leave a comment

Tooth fairy moving onto kidneys


With half of the UK’s eight-year-olds suffering from tooth decay, all gossamer-winged withdrawals will now focus on harvesting undamaged organs. Children can now expect to wake with significant surgical scarring … Continue reading

April 8, 2015 · 4 Comments

Derren Brown unmasked as Santa


In a disappointing start to the New Year, the illusionist and all-round mentalist has revealed that he was behind the most elaborate ruse to be performed upon UK TV viewers.  … Continue reading

January 6, 2015 · Leave a comment

Season’s Greetings … BUY MY BOOK!!!


Ello, Folks. Flibbertigibbet News is hibernating for the festive period but will be back in the New Year with more appallingly written stories. In the mean time I hope Santa brings … Continue reading

December 16, 2014 · 2 Comments

Secret Santa is a money laundering scheme


The world’s favourite office tradition has been revealed to have a darker side. Police investigating the movement of illicit drug and arms deals, have discovered that the majority of funds … Continue reading

November 25, 2014 · Leave a comment

Tories to stop Santa migration by Christmas


David Cameron has announced plans to curb the flood of European migrant workers, specifically 4th-century Greek bishops, from invading our homes. The Prime Minister has promised to apply an ‘emergency … Continue reading

October 30, 2014 · Leave a comment

Nazi hunters asked to pursue 80’s ‘bottom fondlers’


The Crown Prosecution Service has made a belated request of Kurt Schrimm and other prominent German lawyers, to turn their considerable talents to the capture of notorious posterior gropers. Rather … Continue reading

January 28, 2014 · Leave a comment

EU migrants may disguise themselves as Santa


As wind and rain hit, panic has swept the nation in anticipation of 8,000 ‘Bulgarian accented’ Kris Kringles flooding UK borders. The Home Office has warned that Saint Nicholas may … Continue reading

December 25, 2013 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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