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 ‘Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, except me’ claims Nandy 


Labour leadership hopeful and part-time Franco-file, Lisa Nandy, suggested that the best way to deal with Scottish Independence was riot shields and prison-size portions of escudellla.  Responding to an interview question, Nandy said she favoured … Continue reading

January 23, 2020 · Leave a comment

Prince Andrew hides in Meghan’s suitcase


Canadian custom officials have discovered an ‘gluttonous lump’ amongst Harry and Meghan’s duty frees.  Closer inspection has revealed the unusual package to be Prince Andrew; who claimed that he was … Continue reading

January 21, 2020 · Leave a comment

Trump boasts his impeachment will be ‘the best one ever’


To a packed crowd of the supporters, the President confirmed that his trial will have the biggest viewing figures, the most lawyers and the longest brass neck the world has … Continue reading

January 20, 2020 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘No, I’m not going to laugh!’


WINNER: “No, I’m not going to laugh!” (from Inchcock) RUNNER UP ‘I also slept with your wife…’ (from JasonHull67) Sith vs Jedi – Spot the difference (from Thadius_fact) Grindr makes … Continue reading

January 18, 2020 · 1 Comment

Retiring Labour MPs exit with dignified pie fight


Not bitter, not bitter at all, various ex-MPs have taken the opportunity to unload their full support for Jeremy Corbyn, in the form of a vat of sour grapes, 20lbs … Continue reading

January 16, 2020 · Leave a comment

New counter-terror training course focuses on narwhal tusks


Free online training is being made available for the public on how to use parts of a whale’s anatomy to combat terrorist. Allegedly barnacles can be used as ninja stars, … Continue reading

January 15, 2020 · Leave a comment

Travelex crashed by giant whiskey bottle filled with ha’pennies


The foreign exchange company has had to turn off all computer systems after a pub landlord tried to exchange the contents of a 1960’s swear jar for a holiday fund … Continue reading

January 13, 2020 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘The Environment’ – blink and you’ll miss it


WINNER: ‘The Environment’ – blink and you’ll miss it (FortyMakesSeven) Greta spoke at length about cow methane – then closed her eyes for one last sneaky fart (from LankyRoller_86) ‘You … Continue reading

January 11, 2020 · Leave a comment

Melanie Phillips appointed as Middle East peace envoy


Reaching out with love, The Times journalist has been nominated to bring peace and understanding to war-torn regions and a ‘big bag of s.t.f.u.’ for the people of Palestine. After … Continue reading

January 8, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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