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The Truth about Goats

Ketchup works for everything – except sex play


Britain’s favourite red gravy can be smeared on any meal with no ill effects, but the moment it is introduced into bedtime frolics, it not only kills the moment, but … Continue reading

July 1, 2020 · Leave a comment

Sex position of the week: The reverse cow-herd immunity


Boris Johnson has decided to spice up his COBRA meetings, with a variety of emergency positions, designed to makes us all ‘sweat’.  He has thrown out the Kama Sutra and … Continue reading

March 19, 2020 · Leave a comment

TV producers excited by new reality show ‘Survival Sex’


Continuing their long running franchise of ‘grim reality’, the Government is helping tens of thousands of people to live their dream, of appearing on TV with a MP’s hand up … Continue reading

November 13, 2019 · Leave a comment

Imagining Boris’s sex life causes pound to sink to 28-month low


  As news that the UK’s newest PM and oldest blagger had installed his ‘lover’ in No.10, currency markets were forced to concede that he had probably already ‘spaffed on … Continue reading

August 6, 2019 · Leave a comment

MPs to stop funding abuse – unless its their own


The Government is to take a strong line in withdrawing funding from any institution harbouring sexual predators, unless of course its a Premiership football team, a Weinstein production or the … Continue reading

March 6, 2018 · Leave a comment

Old western men looking for love in your local area


Asian websites have reported being flooded by pop-ups offering ‘no-strings attached’ casual sex from middle-aged singletons based in the Winchester area.  Erotically posed in figure-hugging cardigans, these provocative images of … Continue reading

October 5, 2017 · 4 Comments

 Ban on child sex robots sitting SATs


While two-fifths of primary pupils have failed their curriculum exams, three-fifths passed because their canny parents used an android-surrogate. Originally, robot ethicists had been concerned that these robots would be … Continue reading

July 13, 2017 · Leave a comment

Turns out, Pandas have been ‘doing anal’ all along


Scientists in the reproductive physiology department at the San Diego Zoo have discovered, through the use of thermal imagining, a general predilection for ‘black and white back-door action’ in the … Continue reading

June 22, 2017 · Leave a comment

Trump gets first full erection


President Trump announced to the world’s press that with his missile strikes on Syria, the US was entering a heightened military state – to match his own elevated level arousal.  … Continue reading

April 11, 2017 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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