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The Truth about Goats

Statues to get vaccine ahead of teachers

The Communities Secretary has signalled that statues of slave owners will be given preference when it comes to council housing, extra UCAS points and they will be first in the … Continue reading

January 25, 2021 · Leave a comment

Even the Child Catcher thinks schools are unsafe

The UK’s decision to reopen schools with only the merest of safety measures, has alarmed Baron Bomburst, who had been self-isolating since the mysterious disappearance of his wife.  By contrast, … Continue reading

September 17, 2020 · Leave a comment

Matt Hancock claims new vaccine will give you ‘spidey powers’

Not content with over-exaggerating the number of UK virus tests, the Health Secretary has been caught claiming that any vaccine will enable patients to climb walls and shoot spider-webs from … Continue reading

July 28, 2020 · Leave a comment

Anti-mask activists claim ‘God wants to see your teeth’

There have been strong protests against the uniform use of masks, particularly among those that see Corvid-19 as an attempt to repress our right to show off our chin acne … Continue reading

July 22, 2020 · Leave a comment

I’m making it up as I go along, admits Boris

As the Prime Minister kickstarts the second wave of Corvid-19 infections by personally spitting in everyone’s pint, there is a growing suspicion that he has been winging it; like an … Continue reading

July 9, 2020 · Leave a comment

Covid-19 so last year, says G4 EA H1N1

China has identified a new flu strain that will soon have heads turning on the catwalks of Milan and stomachs churning in the bathrooms of Bognor. The new virus is … Continue reading

July 6, 2020 · Leave a comment

No singing at weddings? Thank f$ck!

Out of the chaos of their Covid-19 strategy, the Government has finally hit upon a regulation that everyone can support – an end to your drunk Uncle singing ‘My Way’ … Continue reading

July 3, 2020 · Leave a comment

Boris allowed to organise opening of pubs – but not piss-ups in breweries

The Prime Minister has declared a significant relaxing of lockdown rules, with 2m distancing to be downgraded to ‘no tongues’. Unfortunately, Mr Johnson’s track record on planning is patchy; be … Continue reading

June 29, 2020 · Leave a comment

Matt Hancock to replace Track and Trace with Scratch’n’Sniff

Realising the impractical nature of rolling out a tracing system without a fast processing infrastructure, the Health Secretary has agreed to smell the anus of every person displaying Covid-like symptoms. … Continue reading

June 9, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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